Systeme D

30 August 2006

Mine's a pint of something drinkable

We'll know we've got somewhere with the campaign for real cider when pubs that proclaim "we care about our drink", or "we serve premium lagers and award-winning real ales", or "we don't compromise on our drinks", stop serving the undrinkable wazz that is Strongbow.

You can serve Addlestones, Bulmers Traditional, Stowford Press or Thatchers Gold if you like - that's absolutely fine. Maybe just have a few bottles of Westons in the fridge, the same ones your local Budgens or Spar would sell. No bother. I really don't expect everywhere to start selling Ralph's or Gwynt y Ddraig or Gwatkins. Just stop pretending you give a shit about your drinks when the only cider you serve is the Watneys Red Barrel of the 21st century and you actually have a wider range of coffee.

No, Magner's doesn't count. Fucktards.

Much of the blame, as ever, must go to those titans of shit-masquerading-as-sugar Greene King and Wolverhampton & Dudley, who market their real ale skilfully ("Marstons Don't Compromise" etc., though I was never convinced by the effeminate golf-playing fox that Greene King appear to think is the target market for their IPA) yet won't countenance anything remotely interesting on draught. If Wetherspoons can do it with two bag-in-a-box and six different bottles in every branch, so can they.

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