30 January 2006
Organists behaving badly
Yikes, Maureen has put a picture of me playing the organ on the St Mary's website. (I wonder whether I was playing the Swell intentionally, or because the Great had conked out again.)
Occasionally, the wider world discovers, to its great astonishment, that organists are not quite as holy as priests, and that some of us have a slightly evil sense of humour. Well, frankly, if your own preferred listening was Durufle/Franck/Dupre/whatever, yet you still had to play 'Shine Jesus Shine' every n weeks, you'd probably react similarly.
This, however, is much more telling - a discussion on an 'organists only' bulletin board about what you do during the sermon.
Because our organ is right next to the altar and pulpit, I really can't get away with not listening to the sermon (not, of course, that such a thought would cross my mind anyway). Although I do note that Judy appears to be looking at her watch in this picture, presumably thinking "how long does this voluntary go on for?".
But some of the suggestions on the organists' board are quite marvellous:
- "If a sermon is going on too long, I have at times accidently dropped my hymn book on the console. Or played the very top notes on the Swell Piccolo 2ft very quietly to simulate hearing aid noises."
- "On the words, 'In the name of the Father etc.' I would press the "on" button; the blower bursting into life and making a sound which was indistinguishable from the sound of a flushing toilet."
- "I remember an evensong lesson at Ripon, where part way through the Canon leant forward over the lectern, (big brass Eagle thing in the middle of the choir), looked sternly at a certain boy (who shall remain nameless!) and said, rather loudly - 'Will you PLEASE stop masturbating during the lesson, young man!'."
- "Both Salisbury Cathedral and Sherborne Abbey have cameras, controllable from beside the organ console. When occasionally playing at either building, I find it entertaining to move the cameras around the congregation during the sermon, in order to see if there was any 'hot totty' as it were, in the throng. Just occasionally, one would be rewarded with the sight of some flaxen-haired beauty, looking as if she had just come from a TV advertisement set, promoting fantastic hair or skin products. More usually, though, there was just a collection of old people looking as if they had just come from a badger-baiting session."
- "This was not unknown at Holy Trinity, Hull, over 50 years ago when the organist would sometimes quietly come down from the console (it was more conveniently sited then) and slip out of the north door into the Bonny Boat for a swift half."
- ...and several more.
I really need to ask Fabric Committee for an organ loft.
Comments
Hi Richard....you've taken up the cause of mapping (and cycling) the UK. Hope all is well - sounds like it is - keep in touch fella!
Posted by Ifraz Mughal on 23.2.06 09:15
