Batter the Haddock

Cambridge's only Eurovision ceilidh band

* a special tribute page *

Thank you, ladies and gentlemen!

We are Batter The Haddock, available for weddings, bar mitzvahs and funerals.
Please leave your name and address at the door,
and you will be hearing from our solicitors.

We're going to play our theme song now, and we'd like you to sing along.
It's called "Batter The Haddock". That's Batter, and not...

Cass Meurig
fiddle/
caller Dan Bath
fiddle/
caller Richard Fairhurst
accordion Fraser McKevitt
bass guitar James Kellar
guitar/
banjo

The Batter the Haddock story began in Cambridge, where the band met while studying subjects ranging from music to Anglo-Saxon (via engineering). Their steadily growing reputation culminated in two extremely successful performances at the prestigious Newnham May Ball and St Catherine's May Ball (bringing the event to a heady climax with a whirl of dancing!) and a late evening slot on the Acoustic Stage at the Strawberry Fair festival - with one observer describing them as "the epitome of Cambridge ceilidh cool".

The Haddocks - as they are affectionately known - went on to bring their rude raucous sound to many parts of Britain, combining fine instrumental virtuosity, a lively iconoclastic attitude, and a certain enthusiasm for the demon booze (allegedly). Their repertoire included traditional tunes and call dances from Ireland, Scotland, Wales and England, throwing in the odd bit of the Spice Girls, Gina G, or Kurdish folk music for good measure: and they are guaranteed to get any crowd on their feet with the traditional first dance, "Drinks For The Band".

Batter the Haddock have also been known to play jazz, and even string trios. Really. Here we are playing jazz at the George Hotel in Stamford (which is very nice).

The Haddocks can now only be tempted out of retirement by a very large cheque, or alternatively some free drinks.

All the lads!

A selection from the Haddock tour diary

The Haddocks played over fifty gigs: the list below contains a few that we can remember.

July 1995	ASNaC Ceilidh, Cambridge
October 1995	Fisher House, Cambridge
October 1995	ASNaC Ceilidh, Cambridge
November 1995	Troubadours Banquet, Cambridge
November 1995	Clare College Iona Service, Cambridge
January 1996	Emmanuel College, Cambridge
February 1996	Pembroke College, Cambridge
March 1996	Fisher House, Cambridge
March 1996	Victoria Hall, Oakham, Rutland
March 1996	Christ's College, Cambridge
March 1996	Hash House, Tilbrook, Northamptonshire
May 1996	ASNaC Ceilidh, Cambridge
May 1996	National Market Day, Cambridge Market Square
June 1996	Acoustic Stage, Strawberry Fair, Cambridge
June 1996	Newnham College May Ball, Cambridge
June 1996	St Catherine's College May Ball, Cambridge
July 1996	Dan and Ali's wedding, Cambridge
August 1996	Basingstoke
August 1996	Muker, North Yorkshire
September 1996	Cheadle Hulme, Manchester
September 1996	Newbury
December 1996	Fisher House, Cambridge
March 1997	Victoria Hall, Oakham, Rutland
March 1997	Hash House, Tilbrook, Northamptonshire
March 1997	Fisher House, Cambridge
June 1997	Portland Arms, Cambridge (Strawberry Fair warm-up)
July 1997	Normanton, Rutland
August 1997	Guildford, Surrey
September 1997	Aylesbury, Buckinghamshire
October 1997	St Mary's, Bishop's Stortford
March 1998	Kentish Town, London
June 1998	Bisbrooke, Rutland
July 1998	Yorkshire Dales
October 1998	James and Clare's wedding, Lower Slaughter
April 1999	Fisher House, Cambridge
July 1999	Aylesbury, Buckinghamshire
August 1999	Oakham Castle and the George Hotel, Stamford
April 2000	Fisher House, Cambridge
April 2000	Caius College, Cambridge
May 2000	Cass and Graham's wedding, Wales
July 2000	Richard and Anna's wedding, Bisbrooke
June 2001	near Nottingham
September 2001	Wimpole Hall, Cambridge
April 2005	Special Haddock Reunion Gig!

Theme from Batter the Haddock
(to the tune of Hunt the Squirrel, preferably not as arranged by Ernest Tomlinson)

Batter the haddock, batter the haddock, batter the haddock.
Batter the haddock, batter the halibut. (repeat)
Haddock battery, haddock battery, it's the one for me!
Batter, batter, batter it - batter the halibut. (repeat)

MP3s temporarily offline (fortunately).

Great (repeatable) Haddock moments of years gone by

Wrong Note Bingo!
Going to the middle of Northamptonshire with the nasty Hashers, listening to all their filthy songs, joining in the spirit of the occasion by embarking on a lusty round of The Ballad of The St Wadegund and being greeted by a frosty silence.
"Do you mind if I play your guitar?" (At Newnham May Ball.) Yes, we do. F--k off.
James's dad, making a guest appearance on banjo, going up to the mic during a Clare gig and clearly enunciating the word "clusterf--k" (this one may be apocryphal).
"You're a disgrace to your parents and your schools" (Yorkshire, 1996).
Being abused for playing "English shite" by an unpleasant old Irishwoman at the gig in K-ntish Town (having just played two Scottish, two Welsh and an American tune).
Three hundred people in Fisher House all shouting "Arse!" in chorus. Including some priests.
BTH vs Oxford Catholic Chaplaincy ceilidh band (away fixture).
Dan's Kevin Keegan soliloquy.
Being paid to go away by the Blue Boar on Trinity Street, Cambridge.

Haddock links

Haddock fiddler Cass now plays in Fernhill,which is a Proper Band, as well as some rude outfit who do naughty things to pigeons. And she has her own very swish website. Warning: you may experience bad language on these sites. (Welsh.)
Dan plays in Eklectica. Nice.
The Round Band play lots of nasty modern tunes with far too many cadences per bar. Unlike Batter the Haddock, they are not the epitome of Cambridge ceilidh cool, and their line-up is very silly. But they're a fine bunch of lads and lasses.
The Gnome, aka Jonathan Coxhead, is a nice helpful calling bloke who provided the Haddocks with some of the politer parts of their repertoire, as well as making up a completely spurious tradition called 'Molly dancing' (I ask you).
All the luvverly links that take you here.